- Acceptance and Rewriting Your Life Story
- 45: Rewriting My Story
- Meet the director of your show/life
- Search form
- Rewriting the Story of Your Life: A Process of Self-Exploration Through Writing
These are the stories we think define our lives, why we are the way we are.
Acceptance and Rewriting Your Life Story
For some people, these could be triumphant tales of overcoming odds and reaching a pinnacle of joy and success; if so, please, do not change a word! But if you are like the rest of us, yours is more likely to be an endless loop of some high hopes and glimmers of happiness, ending with disappointments and a chiding moral of "that's the way life is. No matter how true the details, these stories drag us down, making us believe that past performances are indicative of future returns where our lives are concerned.
Repeating these sad, self-limiting stories is like walking around with a permanent bad haircut, all the while pointing to your head and crying, "Look at what happened to me. Or, in the case of your story, rewrite it. As a writer, I take this quite literally. I have a whole repertoire of cry-in-my-teacup stories, from being bullied as a kid to relationships that tore out my heart and then backed a pickup truck over it. So do most people. With discernment, maturity and continuing self-knowledge, I came to realize that I could reframe my stories, and where I couldn't find a happy ending, I could at least capture the lesson learned.
Consider the Perils of Patricia at age seven. Jumping off the diving board into the community pool seemed like such fun, except no one explained to me just how deep the water was -- and I couldn't swim.
45: Rewriting My Story
Up the ladder I went, off the board I jumped, down into the water I sank. Popping up in a panic, I gulped and splashed, but nobody noticed. The lifeguard was asleep in the chair. My little friends tried to rescue me, but I dragged one girl under and she had to save herself.
Just as I was about to give up, sure that I would drown, my arms started moving as if on their own accord. I finally made it to the edge of the pool and pulled myself out. When my mother picked me up that afternoon, I wanted to tell her what happened, but she seemed too distracted to listen.
Meet the director of your show/life
I had to be content with telling myself the story instead -- and I did. For years, it was the story of how I almost drowned as a kid and nobody was there to help me. At midlife, it's time to sort through the life stories we tell, pitching out the ones that no longer fit.
What purpose does it serve if the same ol' tale you tell yourself makes you feel unlovable, unworthy, uncreative, unsuccessful and un-everything else? Now we have the opportunity to rewrite those stories! At this point you begin to assign meaning to your life experiences: "My parents gave me away so that must mean there is something wrong with me". The various meanings that you make about your experiences become the threads that weave each chapter of your life into the fabric of your story.
When you interpret your life experiences as being negative or disempowering, you form limiting beliefs about yourself.
These limiting beliefs might sound like this:. As a result of these limiting beliefs, fear, pain, and suffering move to the forefront of your awareness; you consciously strive to avoid anyone or anything that might cause you to re-experience those emotions. Can you recall a time when you listened to the voice of fear and robbed yourself of your ability to move powerfully forward toward your vision or a goal? Have you ever complained to a friend or co-worker and found yourself in a downward spiral as you cited everything you could possibly find that was wrong with another person or your situation?
These behaviors of self-sabotage are, in part, an attempt to unconsciously protect yourself from having another experience that would reinforce the story of why you aren't able to be, do, or have what you want in life. These unconscious drivers are what we call unresolved emotions. They have been repressed from earlier experiences, and they are what create unconscious limiting decisions that keep you stuck in the same old story, month after month, year after year. The good news is that you are the author of your story.
Rewriting the Story of Your Life: A Process of Self-Exploration Through Writing
You are the one walking your path and navigating the terrain of your journey. You are the one who writes the story and you have the ability to change the narrative at any time. But where do you begin when you have a lifetime of imprinted memories Sanskaras and repressed emotions that drive your every thought, word, and action? There are two types of interpretations—those that empower you and those that disempower you. One of the sisters eventually turned to drugs, didn't finish school, became homeless, and went from one abusive relationship to another.
The other sister went on to college, had a successful career, and was in a loving relationship with someone who cherished her. Both girls were interviewed on national television, and when asked the question "How did you end up where you are today?
The moral of this story is that you always have a choice in how you interpret events, circumstances, and interactions with others. You can choose to focus on the negative by looking at all that is wrong, which leads to more pain and suffering, or you can choose to look for what's right—to find the gifts or the opportunities—which leads to more potential, and more joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Rewriting your story requires that you take an honest look at where you blame other people or circumstances for the way your life has turned out.
Frame the story in the positive. Think about what gifts have manifested in your life as a result of you not having had your needs or wants met at that time. As you become more adept at finding the opportunities in every challenge, you will begin to look on past experiences in a new light, and you will begin to rewrite your story. Had you gotten what you thought was needed at the time, you may not have the gifts that you have today. Search form Search. How to Rewrite Your Life Story. By Tris Thorp.
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